#5 Once a Lazy Girl, Always a Lazy Woman
Growing up doesn't have to be painful
Dear Lazies,
As a child, we were always told to “enjoy your youth” because once you reach a certain age, it’s expected that you conform to societal standards, join the working world and hence, lose part of your playfulness, naivety and authentic self. Yet at the same time, it is normalised to commonly ask children, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, which poses the question; can we fault ourselves for wishing away childhood when the freedom and agency of adulthood looks so tantalizing?
Just like in any coming of age film, one of the biggest life lessons a Lazy Woman can to uphold is to never forget their inner child whilst growing into themselves.
This month’s newsletter highlights the growing up experience of some of our Lazy community. From reminiscing on the good old days to coming to terms with reaching milestone birthdays, it’s a reminder that we’re all going through this… together.
Happy reading! This month features illustrations by Eszter Noémi Zwickl and Safae Boudrar.
Your Lazies
First up, we have Lazy Lauren shares their perspective on turning thirty.
‘The lead up to this birthday has been plagued with much anxiety, in both the flippant and very real sense, about where I am in life, about what I have (or more to the point, have not) achieved. I’ve worried quite incessantly about not being where I want(ed) to be. About not having a plan for how to get there. About not really knowing where or what that place is. It's so annoyingly cliché - falling into the trap of the unrealistic societal pressure to have it all figured out by now (Jenna Rink seemed to, after all). But I don't expect my friends to have it all figured out. Whether they be in the 1994 crew or 80’s babies, I've not once questioned the progress or legitimacy of their life ‘plan’ as they hit the big 3-0 (or any other age, for that matter), and yet myself fell hook, line and sinker into the trap of quietly scolding myself for not being more… together.’
Click Read More below for the full post and give Lauren’s Substack a follow.
Lazy Eve reflects on drinking culture in the UK and how it made her rediscover her younger self:
‘Growing up in the U.K, heavy drinking was literally encouraged as a pastime once you turned 16 (or even earlier). During my university years, and throughout my twenties, if I wasn’t working, I’d likely be in a bar, in a club, pre-drinking at someone's house, or in bed nursing a hangover. My social life was ablaze and I had some great times, but my lack of energy to enjoy hobbies meant my creative juices had almost completely dried up…
As my 30th birthday got gradually closer toward the end of last year, a feeling of emptiness grew faster and faster inside me. I felt so dissatisfied with how I’d spent my time and energy during the last fifteen years of my life (despite making some great friends and memories along the way), and realised I needed to rediscover the appreciation I had for art and nature as a child, and dedicate my time to hobbies and interests that allowed me to feel good both mentally and physically.
I’ve since taken to spending my weekends regularly buying myself flowers, sending handwritten letters to friends in decorated envelopes, experimenting with t-shirt designs inspired by the bands I loved as a child, and cooking dishes I’ve never tried before. My biggest surprise has been a new interest in crossword puzzles, which honestly, bring me so much satisfaction and a real feeling of peace. I mostly cycle around Paris, and have a group of friends I go on long, sunny bike rides with and make me feel as though I’m thirteen again. To many, these little ways of spending one’s time might sound like the norm, but for me they’re little reawakenings.’
Now for Lazy Maria who deep dives into the universal girl experience of receiving the ‘send nudes’ texts. At what point in our lifetime is it culturally acceptable to do so and why is there still so much stigma?
‘‹Anna› was 15 when she decided to send explicit photos of her naked body from various angles, posing in front of a mirror with a digital camera to a boy she supposedly liked. I didn’t know why she did that. I didn’t ask, and I didn’t even ponder it. I accepted the canon – she was a slut.’
Read the full article on the Lazy Women website here.
On May 23, Zsofi travelled to Brussels to speak on a live podcast about the working conditions in the independent cultural sector organised by Reset! network. Here’s what she says about it:
We spoke about burnout, the lack of structural funding opportunities, political challenges in the CEE region, and the power of pan-European initiatives and networks, which small actors like Lazy Women benefit immensely from. As a member of the Executive Committee of Reset! – now a network of over 100 independent cultural actors across Europe – it was an honour to also speak about our efforts to bring together the insights and advocate for a better European independent cultural sphere.
In other news, Selin recently represented Lazy Women at the prestigious International Press Institute’s World Congress and Media Innovation Festival in Sarajevo!
Arrived in Sarajevo not knowing what to expect but it was definitely the place to be last week if you’re trying to build and grow an independent media outlet. It was refreshing to see so many people around the world are in the same boat, trying to redefine journalism, connect with their audience and address the most pressing issues of our time, from climate change to gender equality.
June save-the-dates:
1. Panel Discussion in Bratislava: On the 6th of June, Lazy Women is organising a feminist panel discussion in collaboration with the Goethe Institut, with prominent grassroots feminist movements from Central Europe. Find more info via the link!
2. For those of you in Paris - Lazy Women will be participating in a Contre-Soirée Électorale on the 9th of June, right on the day of European elections. Come join us for discussions! Registration is required.
And just like that, our podcast 'Making it' in Western Europe’ is finished! Here’re all 8 episodes, 8 stories of 8 women from Eastern Europe.
1️⃣ Roots, identity, and belonging with Zsofi
2️⃣ Language, homesickness, and diaspora with Dorina
3️⃣ Upbringing, selfishness, and purpose with Dinara
4️⃣ Customs, movement, and covid with Nino
5️⃣ Music, research, and solidarity with Aida
6️⃣ Escape, beauty, and stereotypes with Julie
7️⃣ Theatre, politics, and balance with Basia
8️⃣ Name, class, and dance with Lucie
Which episode resonated with you the most? Let us know in the comments and if you missed any from the series, you can still tune in below.
Many thanks to the talented team behind the production!
Cover art: Juli / Music: Sophie M / Podcast idea and production: Lucie and Zsofi / Community: Dorina / Social media: Dinara
Do you know what else you can tune in to? That’s right, our Lazy May playlist is out on Spotify! It features a colourful palette of artists from the US, Ireland, Kazakhstan, Netherlands, Palestine, Austria and other places around the globe! Find more independent artists and follow us on Spotify here 👇
Talking of migrant women, you might consider passing this little survey for a women-led independent outlet called ‘Migrant Women Press’. It’ll help them understand their next steps whilst preparing the next issues ;) (Pun not intended).
Lazy Julie here, with some reflections on age. I turned 25 this January, and I’m still trying to embrace it. In Eastern Europe, where I’m from, there’re lots of stereotypical expectations from you by this age: a job, a mortgage, a marriage, maybe even kids. Fear not, this list is not going to be about any of these. Here’re 5 things about ‘adulting’ I wish I could say to myself in my teens👇
Your friends’ circle will change, and that’s okay. You outgrow people, you move countries, you change
You will screw up, you will make mistakes - yes, and? If you don’t try - you will never know how good you can be at something! Do something and regret later
You will eventually feel lost in life - most of the people do. Try to embrace the journey, not the ephemeral end goal
Plan, but be flexible. I know how obsessed with calendars and schedules and routines you are, but the world doesn’t end when something goes wrong. In fact, look up the ‘stoicism’ now 😂
Use SPF and stop damaging your skin barrier 😭
As cheesy as it may sound, we want to remind you that taking care of your inner girl is the outer woman’s responsibility. Here’re baby Poppy, baby Julie and baby Chaharika, the newsletter editors of Lazy Women!
p.s. Our newsletter team is fully volunteer-based. We’re working on every issue throughout the whole month — picking a topic, collecting submissions and illustrations, writing and editing.
If you like what we do, consider supporting our work here 👇
Beautiful <3 I have friends worrying all the time about where they should be working, how they can achieve their dreams, and all in all, they are worried all the time. They're in their mid twenties. We need to unlearn the classic system, and fight for a more HUMAN one that understands everyone follows their own path, but also GETS female energy being so different to the masculine one.