Dear Lazies: I Gave Up My Old Life for a Better One

Have I made the right choice?

Welcome back to Dear Lazies – a space for open reflection guided by your questions, inner dramas, and desires. Brought to you by Lazy Women’s editor-in-chief, Zsofi.

Each month, the column tackles an existential dilemma sent by our community, opening the discussion to other lazy women out there, to relate to or find comfort in sharing.

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Dear Lazies,

How do people handle feelings when they lose themselves (an older version) for a better, happier life? I am in a transition where I gave up my previous life for happiness and family, and often, I wonder if I made the right choice. I know I did, but is this normal for everyone?

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From Cocoon to Complicated Adulthood

Growing up, oh how terribly cocooned I was from the Real World. The cherished sweet daughter(s) in an ever-so-slightly patriarchal family - at least in its pragmatic functionings - meant that the serious issues were dealt with without my knowledge. Bills and money and the brutish mechanisms of the world I had very little idea of, both because we weren’t struggling and because I was a child, on top of that, a girl.

Household items seen as mere necessities, my parents didn’t concern themselves with an overly tidy home. As much as the value of lifelong learning was ingrained in me and my sister, that’s how little it mattered how messy our rooms were, when we went to bed, or whether we cleaned up after ourselves - our material lives were characterised by profound freedom and lack of rules.