Dear Lazies: On Building a Life Somewhere New

A Lazy Woman’s Take on Never Fully Belonging

Welcome to the second edition of the Dear Lazies newsletter – a space for open reflection guided by your questions, inner dramas, and desires. Brought to you by Lazy Women’s editor-in-chief, Zsofi.

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“Dear Lazies,

What are your suggestions for dealing with feeling a loss of identity in your home country, but not totally fitting in where you’re living? In a strange way, I think it gets harder with age because you’ve grown less connected to your old life, so the thought of potentially moving home at some point can feel scary. I’d be keen to hear your thoughts and insights on dealing with this/have you experienced this personally?”

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Dear Lazy Writer,

It sounds like you’re at a very particular – and no doubt quite difficult – point in your emigration journey, and one that’s surely relatable to many of the Lazies, myself included.

You have spent just enough time abroad to feel truly disconnected from your life from before, but not ready to let go of the idea of ever returning.

While that stage will not necessarily ever come, I think what you’re asking yourself is this: Can we ever return to where we’re from without having to erase the new parts of our identity, all these interesting and complicated learnings from making a life for oneself abroad?

In this edition of Dear Lazies, I’m pondering the following themes from my own life, inspired by your dilemma:

• The privileges and hardships of European upward social mobility, especially from an Eastern European perspective;